That's a weird first message..

Not interested?

A dating site is not a friend site. FYI.

Lol love your profile. So if you read my profile you say I am loser but I have a lot more to offer then you may read. I love to out door in the park or by a body of water enjoy spend time with good friends I am in law enforcement so I can be push at time I am just looking for friends

Even if you're joking? Probably not something you want to joke about in the first message..

You are very beautiful. I dont like the gym but the difference between me and you is i actually need to go to the gym. I have no idea what the difference between "than" and "then" is lol I dont read at all anymore but i read a lot in prison. I enjoyed reading Nelson Demille books especially The Gold Coast. What movies and shows were you in?

Cheesy, but.. Not that bad, actually. Huh.

If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.

Keep it far away from you?

I know what to do with all that hair, even if you don't.….....…

After a few days of perfectly normal messages, I thought I was in the clear..

Hi there you are really cute :) something about me that you should know: I am the kind of guy who knows what he wants. I have my stuff together, own a car, nice big house, I am hopeless romantic, kind, I could be very sexxual if I wanted to be but it depends on the woman, if you are a woman who doesn't love sexx, I won't even ask u for it, or if you are a woman who loves sexx a lot you better prepare yourself for this big boy who will rock your world all night long. When I say I am big, I mean it's pretty damn big so u better be able to handle it like a real woman. I am blunt and straight to the point, if you don't like what I say, you are not the right woman for me. Other than that, I know how to treat a girl, I am a lot of fun to be with which would drive some women crazy sometimes :) My goal in life is to be happy as much as I can, same goes with relationships. Hit me up, you won't be disappointed!

Classy first date idea.. Why didn't I think of that?

Hey sexy what's your name? Lets hang out soemtime drink couple beers smoke some weed

Sorry about your small penis. Might want to rethink your opening message though..

you were told you were pretty way to many times in your life. Good luck on finding a man to make you happy! Im sure you look in the mirror and get more satisfaction!

Newp.. Definitely sounds very Neanderthal.

ah eh umm....mmmmine. Yup I'm deciphering claiming you! Not in a Neanderthal kind of way think of it more like a finding nemo sort of thing :p

No, that doesn't sound creepy at all..

Yes baby you look so nice. Come here now. You're beautiful and need to hear it more

Sometime I get tired of this question.

hey there whats up? whats a beautiful lady like yourself doing single?

-Well, I tend to kill my sexual partners. It really puts a damper in attempting a lasting relationship.

 B. Widow.*

*Not my real name

Uh, thanks for clarifying that you're not a woman beater.. Good to know

Hi my names bob* and I was wondering if you want to chat . A little about me I work for a school have for eight years ive never cheated and never will I also have never hit a woman . Im a no bs no drama guy I tend to take car of others before my self . Well if you would like to know more lets chat thanks.

*Not his real name

You just convinced me to chop it off.. Thanks!

Hi Nic! More hair than you know what to do with huh? I know what I'D do with it..... Pull on it :) You would forget about everything else in life...

-Bob-*

*Not his real name.

Thank you for that copy and paste "MESSAGE"

Dear Beautiful,

I thought, I would take the time out to write you this message to let you know that I'm a well rounded, down to earth, athletic, gentle caring, career minded, hard working, driven, secure, loyal, healthy life style, "SAPIOPHILE" single man who has his own place, car, career, no kids, never been married and completing my bachelors degree in Computer Science. Who loves to cook gourmet dishes, clean, give massages since I had classes in Massage Therapy, doing laundry, being a neat freak and is a personal Physical Fitness Trainer. So if what I wrote entices your mind, body and most importantly soul. Don't hesitate to respond back to this message. I'm just tired of meeting so many "fake" females that don't know what they "want" in life. I just wish their was one female out there in this world that can prove to me that not all females are the same. Also the main reason I'm interested in your profile is because were in the same age group so the maturity level should be mutual. Plus I don't want to sit here and waste your "TIME" as well as mines. I hope you really can understand where I'm coming from beautiful.

Sincerely Yours,

Bob*

PS: You're "BEAUTY" caught my attention but I know once I get to know you it's your "PERSONALITY" that will capture my heart me lady..

*Not his real name

I'm sure if you send the same generic message a 4th time, I'll change my mind.

Hey there! I would love to chat with you if you are interested! :)  11/13/2014 6:34:08 PM

Hey there! I would love to chat with you if you are interested! :)  11/14/2014 5:02:39 PM

Hey there! I would love to chat with you if you are interested! :)  11/15/2014 10:20:48 AM

Let me guess.. You're volunteering?

Gorgeous smile and eyes! You need to pass those flawless gene's on and have a baby at some point your beautiful girl! !!

Sorry, I think I'm all tied up that day.

Hey there,

I'm visiting from Bobcity*, Bobland** and in town until Tuesday morning. I was wondering if you'd be interested in trying something different - rope bondage. I'd love to meet and discuss potentially tying with you. All your limits respected.

Thanks,

Bob***

*Not a real city

**Not a real country

***Not his real name

I think I'll stick with "almost" then..

You are almost perfect, the only thing that I see wrong are your lips. They aren't touching mine :p

Sorry, I do have a man.. I just like to hang out on dating sites for funsies.

hello how r u doing if u don't have a man can I take u out to dinner

I think I'll wait for the next ship..

I completely meet your criteria and you passed the ole eyeball test, so welcome aboard the Galactica baby:-).